OH WHY!

Last night was a BAD night... I have what some girls I am losing weight with like to call a FFU... Fat F Up :) But the problem is that I had many.... I have a problem that I wasn't going to exactly go into details on here with because frankly it is no ones business, BUT at the same time this is me, this is who I am and this is something I am going through so why shouldnt I be able to post it on my blog. Plus the people that read these and follow me obviously care about me and are not there to judge me....

Last night I had a binge.... Some doctors have and will classify this as an eating disorder, some may not.... It is something I have dealt with on and off for a while now, but has gotten worse through my later teen/adult years. It is something that I am aware that I do, something that I have been successful at NOT doing, but somehow someway I always go back to it....

Because of this I would prefer not to even talk about my intake last night... well after dinner at least... this is something that is insanely hard for me, but I am dealing and learning how to not do something like this and to me it has gone from a HUGE BIG deal to something that happens and something I need to work on. I cannot dwell on this and all I can do is fix it :)

Monday's Intake:

Breakfast

Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with FF Cream Cheese - 334 cals

Snack

Peach - 58 cals

Lunch

Chicken Breast with BBQ Sauce - 230 cals

Spinach with Poppy Seed Dressing - 120 cals

Banana - 90 cals

Snack

Reese 100 Cal Packs - 100 cals

Weight Watchers Strawberry Candies - 68 cals

Dill Pickle Crispers and slice of cheese - 160 cals

Dinner

Meatloaf - 444 cals

Roasted Potatoes with olive oil - 250 cals

Becel - 70 cals

If I would have just stuck with this for my food for the day I would have been fine but noooo I had to keep going....

INTAKE BEFORE FFU - 1924 cals

TOTAL CALORIES BURNED - 3050 cals

Oh and I did forget to mention that I did get my ass moving yesterday! :) I went out for a brisk walk with Josh on my lunch :) Thats a bonus, see I gotta work on looking at the positives...

When I esitmate how many calories I ate on my FFU.... it was probably close to 1000 if not more :( So bad! BUT that means that I was STILL close to maintain calories yesterday which was 3000... maybe I didnt do AS bad as I thought? I know I will have days that I go over my losing weight calories, or even over my maintain weight calories, but what matters is that I dont do it every day right? :) RIGHT! :) I am okay and I AM doing this!

Anywho, thanks for listening to my rant. :)