Weigh In Day.... Weigh in #3

Okay.... this is gonna be short but sweet cause I have a crazy day ahead of me since today is my Friday! Off work tomorrow for a wedding! YAY ME :)

Anyways.... I stepped on the scale this morning and as you know from my blog yesterday, I was a lil scared cause I knew there would be a gain, but was not sure how much of one... Drum Roll Please.......................................... THERE WASN'T ONE!!! Thats right!!!!! I must've done something right because although I only lost a fraction of a pound (.2 to be exact) I STILL LOST :P OMG YAY!!! I would have loved for more as always, but damn a girl cannot complain when you expect to gain and you maintain or lose a little :) Im so super happy about that... So although I thought that I messed up royally with being sick and everything apparently I still did some things right and the scale proves it.... So.... my goal for next week, TWO POUNDS! steppin' it up baby!

Well like I said, short and sweet! Have a great weekend everyone and I will see if I can get on throughout the weekend, but if not Ill be back Monday! :D

Check out my latest You Tube weigh in video that will be up tonight!

xx

TURNING IT ALL AROUND BABY!

I NEED SLEEEEEEP! I got maybe a total of 2 hrs sleep last night, I hate being sick... :( I know I have been slacking on the blogs, but come on!... give a girl a break! I'M SICK! :( lol

Actually... right there is the problem, I have been giving myself too many breaks. I know I don't wanna be too strict and hard on myself, but I would like to be a little more at the same time.... So here is my vow, because THIS WEEK HAS SUCKED LARGE!!!! (being sick and trying to be/eat healthy is not easy because you are already so worn out, lazy, and blah) but... where was I? Oh! Right!!! My vow..... nearly all the "crap" that I would snack on at night is out of the house.... I know that most nights I would fit it into my calories, but lately I haven't been doing that and I have been eating it just because it is there. Once in a while having that stuff in the house is alright, I agree, but not every day and copious amounts of it! So after this weekend ALL of it should be gone! I say this weekend because we are having a party and there are things live pizzas and stuff like that that I am going to feed to ppl and get it out :) Especially these pizzas cause they are delicious and tempt me every stinkin' night and those damn things usually win that battle. If it isn't there, there is no battle :) Common sense right?!

I do find that sticking to healthy eating is harder when I am home alone, when Josh is on nights... which is just part of the guilt... Hiding what you eat, serious issue/sickness.... But I plan on conquering that one too!! I eat because I am bored, happy, sad, angry, sick, silly, joyful, excited, should I go on? I eat because I am living... lol a lot of ppl are a boredom eater or a stressful eater... I have come to terms with the fact that I am just an eater hahahahaha sad but true! And I need to fix that and not just with one emotion, but alllllll of them!

I cannot stress this enough, I have NO doubt that I will succeed.. I KNOW I will! I am confident in the fact that I will be who I need and want to me on the outside and that who I am on the outside will match who I am on the inside. I have all the confidence in the world in myself that I WILL do this and do you know how amazing that is to say? To be able to have that confidence in yourself even looking/being the way I am? Its the first step to success really :)

Okay so... tomorrow is Thursday and I am SO preparing myself for not losing, possibly even a gain.... and you know what, that will suck LARGE and I will kick my own ass so don't you guys worry about it... BUT I see where I was at fault this week and I HAVE to change it. No more being so "meh whatever" about this.... I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!!! How?.....

Plan #1 - My weekend plan since I have such a crazy weekend.... This weekend I have a wedding on Friday and staying at a hotel. Then on Saturday we are having a party... I plan to watch my food intake, have a few drinks but mix them with diet soda or crystal light to minimize the calories. For my party we are serving a salad with lasagna and garlic bread and I also plan on having HEALTHY snack put out for everyone so there is less temptation for me :) Mmmhmmm they say to plan ahead and you will succeed. Also exercise this weekend, I will be dancing the night away at the wedding on Friday evening, I will do my best to get in the pool at the hotel on Saturday morning, plus all the running around I will be doing. :) oh ya baby!

Plan #2 - After I feed all the leftover crap to ppl on the weekend I will not buy that stuff anymore... That stuff should not be in the house again until I can control myself and my eating habits enough to say no and know my limit, but until them.... no way jose! :P

Plan #3 - This damn throat/chest thing I have going on damn well better be gone by Monday and guess what? TURBO JAM HERE I COME!!!!! :) mmhmm thats right, I am going to go and kick some ass with some Turbo Jam.

Plan #4 - Stick with my You Tube videos because they are one of the greatest encouragements/inspirations to me and the WLC (Weight Loss Community) is AMAZING on there!!!! Gotta stick with it!

Anyways... That is def enough from me... As I said above, weigh in tomorrow morning... I'm scared, but at the same time I wont be shocked if there is a gain of like 2 lbs... BUT maybe, just maybe I will be lucky enough to maintain? :) I can feel it though, horrible feeling... retaining water, bloated, full, disgusting feeling... yea the scale is gonna be mean to me tomorrow I just know it :P haha

Have a great day everyone and I will update tomorrow for sure, oh! and I have a new video being posted tomorrow too for my weigh in :P Send some weight loss and healthy vibes my way!!! :) Laters!

xx

OooooOOOOooOOoOoo I forgot to tell you guys!!! my bodybugg digital display came in so instead of having to log online and hook my bugg up to the comp I can just sync it with my watch and BAM there it is in plain view how many calories I have burned so far today, how many calories I have burned in a certain workout on the trip that you can reset, how many calories I burned yesterday, how many steps I have taken, etc. etc. etc. ITS AMAZING! :P

I know... I suck lol

I know I haven't written in a while.... boooo I suck ;) But I am sorry.... No excuses!

This weekend I had numerous FFUs!!!! A little too much "extra curricular activities" and my judgement was obviously blurred... To top that all off I am super sick and feel like uber crap!

Why am I not dwelling on the weekend? Because I have lectured myself and know that no one can change my behaviours but me! No on has control over me, but me... I cannot change or have control over anything in the world but me. I have to be careful with this thought too though because that has been known to lead to the crazy eating disorders I know all too well. But what I mean is that if I completely mess up one day, one week, one month, whatever I have done in the past... that is nobodies fault but my own and I take full responsibility for that and know that there are consequences... I know that I will slow my weight loss down on top of numerous other things... but as long as I am away of my wrongs and know what my consequences are and how to avoid them next time... THATS what matters :)

Please check out my YouTube channel btw everyone... www.youtube.com/brookejh85 :)

Also...within the weight loss community that I am involved in... which many ppl on the outside don't realize how awesome, huge and amazing the WLC on YouTube is :) But anyways, there is this one channel that two of them are involved in... Jason and Shanti and their latest video was GREAT! They ate out like all the time... Shanti and Jason are both down to their goals or close to them. Shanti dropped from the low to mid 200s if I remember correctly now down to the 150s - 160s but in the video she was sitting there eating pancakes and all this other delicious stuff and she has mentioned that someone said that maybe they shouldn't tape the "bad foods" they ate. Shanti and Jason explained that they record them eating the "bad foods" to show that counting calories allows for you to have the occasional treat and indulge once in a while. They are both living proof of that being at their goals weights, maintaining and being healthy and happy. It was very inspirational and def the same way I look at eating :) Check them out too :)

Anyways now that I have done my plug for youtube... Ill see you all tomorrow most likely :D Off to do some grocery shopping tonight and I can tell you right now.... the only thing that I am buying tonight that is not good for you is frozen pizzas on sale and eat in moderation right? :) Plus I have so saved a butt load of calories for some tonight :D

xx

One Change Is All It Takes...

Muscles are hurting... why you may ask? Cause I stepped it up yesterday and not only went for my walk on my lunch hour and pushed passed the pain, buuuut last night when I wanted to go for a snack I decided to do some crunches on my ab roller and some weight training and resistance training with my bands while I watched the Biggest Loser. What an inspiration that show is!

I now realize why I have been crazing snacks so much this week... and well it is def because of that monthly visit... sorry boys :) But when that time comes around I get insanely hungry and I retain so so sooo much water and overall feel like crap, but this time I fought it... I was super proud of myself last night.

So.... with that said, today is Thursday and weigh in was this morning... Another pound is lost.. Yea, thats right, one pound! I am not too sure how much I can truly trust my scale though. I made the mistake of stepping on the scale far too many times and the scale jumped alllll over the place within like 4 lbs which to me is a big deal. At one point I stepped on the scale and it said I lost 3 lbs! 3 lbs is MUCH better than 1lb, but instead I just too the first average reading I got... (step on three times in a row and average them out and the first three times it pretty much read the same weight within .2 of a lb every time) I so shouldnt have stepped on the scale again :P But once again a pound is a pound and although I am not losing it as fast as I used to in the past or as fast as certain ppl do I have to remember that I am happy the way I am doing this and all I can do is change one more thing this week... One Change is all it takes! I also have to remember that my Diabetes and medication def have an impact on the rate in which I lose... ANOTHER thing I am super stoked about is that in the past when I was on that time of the month I used to gain upwards of 5 lbs! This week with it here full on I lost which is very rare for me and I think a lot that has to do with the water intake this week :)

I have posted my first official video on You Tube again.. I am so so soooo happy to be back in that community :) Please go check out my vids if you get the chance. www.youtube.com/brookejh85 :)

My Intake Yesterday:

Breakfast

Cinnamon Raisin Bagel w/ FF Cream Cheese - 299 cals

Lunch

Spinah Salad with Poppyseed Dressing - 120 cals

Whole Wheat Wrap with chicken and cheese - 244 cals

Snack

Apple - 95 cals

Laughing Cow and Bretons - 134 cals

5 Plain Almonds - 34 cals

WW Candies - 17 cals

Dinner

Ristorante Veggie/Mozza Pizza - 570 cals

Snack

Oreo Sandwhich - 250 cals

Consumed - 1909 cals

Burned - 3118 cals

Deficit Total - 1209

So I am very happy with how my day went yesterday :) I am starting to realize that certain foods are just not worth the calories, like the Veggie/Mozza pizza last night... I used to LOVE those, but I dunno... not sure if it is worth it to me anymore. Once they are gone I dont think I will be purchasing them anymore :) (cleaning out the freezer)

Anyways, there is my update!! Have a great day guys!

xx

How Does It Feel? I Wonder...

I was just sitting here thinking about what it would be like to be thin.... I really wish I knew and I am not saying this from a mindset of OMG I WANNA BE THIN! Its me saying this so I just knew what it physically felt like. I know many people who have at one point in their lives been thin and are now trying to lose weight and knows what it feels like so they have that feeling to relate back to, that feeling to strive for... I know it will be a great feeling, but I am not sure exactly WHAT it feels like cause I have never ever been that way. Am I making any sense? Do know that I never ever want to be THIN.... ever! I wanna be healthy and fit :) I will always be a bigger girl, I love my curves and I think that curves are sexy, they are what makes a woman!

Yesterday was alright.... Josh and I ate at the local restaurant that we used to eat at ALL the time... Instead of my usual Chicken fingers and fries I got Chicken Fingers and Salad :) YAY :) Buuuut I did cave and get their famous cheese sticks, but hey... chose your battles right?

To be honest I wasn't going to write a blog today... I was just gonna back off for the day because well... It feels like there is so much going on with weight loss.... I am on You Tube doing my own personal channel and getting back into that, I'm trying out for this kick ass collab channel that I so hope I get on, I have this blog, I log my exercise and calories on my ipod touch, Bodybugg system online and then on top of all of that I started emails with some ladies in my life to lose weight with them.... I guess I just wanted to not write today, but then part of me thought, hmmm do you not want to track today because of what you ate yesterday? No.... thats not it because although I didnt make all VERY smart choices I still made smarter choices, any improvement is better than no improvement :)

Yesterday I ate:

Breakfast

Whole Wheat English Muffin with PB

Glass of Milk

Snack

Peach

Lunch

Spinach with Poppyseed Dressing

Whole Wheat Wrap with ff ham, cheese, mustard and mayo

Snack

4 Crispers

Strawberry Granola and Yogurt Bar

Dinner

Chicken Fingers and Ceaser Salad

Cheese Sticks with Ranch

Oreo Ice Cream Sandwhich

Snack

Whole Wheat Tostitos and Cheese

So.... I do good until about dinner time and then BAM! :P Ah Well, live and learn.... I gotta turn those semi-smart choices into ALL THE WAY SMART :) lol Some may say I am being too easy on myself and you know what that may be the case some days and some nights, but at the same time I al learning the right way for me and also I am not stressing out about it. I think about weight and eating healthy a lot, constantly, but I am no longer letting it cosume me. Although I am working on losing weight and eating healthy right now... number 1 thing is first and that is working on my mental state when it comes to all of this because that in the end is what has sabotaged me in the past! Not this time :) Never again! I am becoming stronger and happier and healthier every day!

Have a good day everyone! Oh and please check out my youtube channel... www.youtube.com/brookejh85 - More videos up soon :)

xx

PS: You know what I really want to work on now? Eating slower, chewing every bite and actually TASTING what I am eating.... New task for me... Drinking my water is getting better and I am ready for the next challange :D

OH WHY!

Last night was a BAD night... I have what some girls I am losing weight with like to call a FFU... Fat F Up :) But the problem is that I had many.... I have a problem that I wasn't going to exactly go into details on here with because frankly it is no ones business, BUT at the same time this is me, this is who I am and this is something I am going through so why shouldnt I be able to post it on my blog. Plus the people that read these and follow me obviously care about me and are not there to judge me....

Last night I had a binge.... Some doctors have and will classify this as an eating disorder, some may not.... It is something I have dealt with on and off for a while now, but has gotten worse through my later teen/adult years. It is something that I am aware that I do, something that I have been successful at NOT doing, but somehow someway I always go back to it....

Because of this I would prefer not to even talk about my intake last night... well after dinner at least... this is something that is insanely hard for me, but I am dealing and learning how to not do something like this and to me it has gone from a HUGE BIG deal to something that happens and something I need to work on. I cannot dwell on this and all I can do is fix it :)

Monday's Intake:

Breakfast

Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with FF Cream Cheese - 334 cals

Snack

Peach - 58 cals

Lunch

Chicken Breast with BBQ Sauce - 230 cals

Spinach with Poppy Seed Dressing - 120 cals

Banana - 90 cals

Snack

Reese 100 Cal Packs - 100 cals

Weight Watchers Strawberry Candies - 68 cals

Dill Pickle Crispers and slice of cheese - 160 cals

Dinner

Meatloaf - 444 cals

Roasted Potatoes with olive oil - 250 cals

Becel - 70 cals

If I would have just stuck with this for my food for the day I would have been fine but noooo I had to keep going....

INTAKE BEFORE FFU - 1924 cals

TOTAL CALORIES BURNED - 3050 cals

Oh and I did forget to mention that I did get my ass moving yesterday! :) I went out for a brisk walk with Josh on my lunch :) Thats a bonus, see I gotta work on looking at the positives...

When I esitmate how many calories I ate on my FFU.... it was probably close to 1000 if not more :( So bad! BUT that means that I was STILL close to maintain calories yesterday which was 3000... maybe I didnt do AS bad as I thought? I know I will have days that I go over my losing weight calories, or even over my maintain weight calories, but what matters is that I dont do it every day right? :) RIGHT! :) I am okay and I AM doing this!

Anywho, thanks for listening to my rant. :)

My Weekend :)

I hope that everyone had a great weekend! Mine was INSANELY busy and a whole lot of running around... 2x Birthday Parties, Engagement Party, Visit with my niece, Shopping, Cleaning the house... IT WAS CRAZY!

My Food for Friday

Breakfast

Cin. Raisin Bagel with Low Fat Cream Cheese - 334 cals

Tim Hortons Coffee with One Cream One Sugar (only drank half) - 37 cals

Snack

Banana

Lunch

Chicken Breast - 255 cals

Baked Cheetos - 115 cals

Peach - 58 cals

Dinner (Ate out with Josh)

Pita Pit Club Pita on Whole Wheat with veggies and feta - 566 cals

Frozen Yogurt in Waffle cone - 392 cals

Snack

Smarties

Calories Consumed - 2168

Calories Burned - 3362

Deficit of .... YAY! 1194 Calories :)

Saturday was my no tracking day and I must admit I didnt do the greatest, but I still noticed some areas where there was improvement. At the party I was at that night I tried my best to stay away from the food table and took literally half what I normally would.

SATURDAY CALORIES BURNED - 3562 cals

Sunday - I didnt track but I really wanted to :( I had two birthday parties and I did well with those when it came to the cake... the first one I asked for half the piece, the second one I served myself and just took a little tiny sliver to taste it, but where did I fail? the icecream :( it is my weakness! UGH!

SUNDAY CALORIES BURNED - 3968

Overall though I had a good weekend, I havent been drinking my water at home as much as I wanted to... it is much easier to stay with the water at work, but I am still working on it, work in progress right? :)

I feel good about what I am doing and that is ALL that matters!

I got the bodybugg display ordered and will be here by next Monday at the latest I am thinking and I SO cant wait for that! It will allow me to see minute by minute my calories instead of having to log online :)

Have a great Monday everyone and I will be back tomorrow!

xx