Update - Specialist

Gooood Morning Everyone!! I started writing this earlier this week and then havent been able to finish until today unfortunetly.

I managed to get an appointment with a specialist yesterday... an Endocrinologist who specializes in Diabetes. He is one of the best doctors I have ever met in my life. So knowledgable, said it how it was without holding back, layed it all out on the table and helped me tremendously. He asked me my weight and I told him, but instead of being shocked like everyone else he looked at me and said "Brooke, this is not your fault".... That was nice to hear because as many of you have heard me say this is ALL my fault. Only I have the ability to change my ways and the ability to change my life. I have no one to blame but myself. To take on all that blame is a large toll for one young woman to handle. Having a specialist (one of the best in Canada) turn to me and say, "Brooke... you are WAY too hard on yourself, this is not your fault." It was like a weight was lifted off my back. I know and still believe that only I can change me, but he went through factors that are occuring to me or have occured in the past that are way out of my control, no way for me to change them and I have to be able to accept that and move forward or I wont be able to move forward and make the changes I need to change in the present time. He said that I am focusing far too much on what I am eating and not enough on exercise, which I am aware of. He said I need to chill out and just take it day by day and just get moving. It was amazing to have someone I just met, whom is an expert, have complete and utter faith in me and my ability to become a healthier and happeri me. It felt GREAT! The doc did a nerve damage test on my legs because there was fear of some nerve damage being done, he said that everything looked great! My eyes looked perfectly healthy and EVERYTHING on my tests looked perfect (or better than perfect) other than my sugars, which was SO good to hear :) I am healthy other than this damn diabetes, but that is so nice to hear and gives me hope that it is not too late to fight this and change things in my life :D And even reverse the effects of this disease. Apparently within three months, if I continue what I am doing and up my movement/exercise I will be able to lower my insulin, have a healthy and happy pregnancy, and be on minimal medications :) :) :) :) HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?! Now.. he did mentioned that I need to stop weighing myself so often. That we as humans are far too fixated on the number and I have heard this many many times before from many professionals, but at the same time I feel that weighing myself keeps me accountable and on track. I am not sure what I am going to do with me... But the last time I weighed myself was Monday morning because I wanted to be able to give the doc an updated weight and also that was the day I started to cut out the CRAP.


For now my meds have been upped and I have been put on a pill with the insulin needles, but this should help me with my struggles so I wont complain :) I was on it when I was first diagnosed, the only crappy part is the side effects that I get within the first week or two.


As for my eating this week though... I have done very well. Limiting the processed crap and eating more fruits and veggies. Making sure I am eating a larger well balanced breakfast and I have not been snacking like at all :) :) :) This is a big thing for me at night time. I want to sit there and eat while watching tv, but I don't! :) I have been drinking more water, milk and limiting my diet pepsi. See I havent gone COMPLETELY non-processed, but I am so doing well and I can say that I am very happy with what I have been doing this week so far, I KNOW! Its only Friday, but I am feeling great about this! :) I am no long taking part in ANY extra curricular activities either, that def includes alcohol... I don't need it and it really isn't good for you obviously. My goal is to go alcohol free until christmas/new years, this wont be too hard for me. Also I smoke little cigars when I am drinking (and sometimes when I am not) This has been cut out completely too, no need for it :) Why smoke them? I quit smoking cigarettes almost exactly 2 years ago this month and I am so very proud of myself for that. Feels good to say that I have no other addiction but food and even that addiction I am slowly beating! :D

Anyways thats my little update. I believe I am going to be weighing in on Monday, see how I am doing, we will see... OH! and my dad is letting me borrow his little treadmill to put in my living room and see how I like it, I can walk/jog while watching my shows at night :) I figure I am going to be watching them either way so why not watch them while walking or jogging or even sitting on my yoga ball :) bit by bit I am making positive changes to my life and although it took me a little longer than most to get the ball moving I am happy and proud of myself :)

Have a great weekend everyone and I will check back in next week :)